Friday, 29 August 2014

The thing about friends.

I have to be honest; this is a personal post, very personal.

If I had to be completely honest, I've been hungry for a real, true friend for some time now. You know, the kind of friend that would tell you when you’re out of line, or give you an encouraging word when they can sense that you’re a bit down. The kind of friend that would actually make the time and effort to meet with you or call, instead of saying “I was just thinking about you yesterday” conveniently when they bump into you at the store. The kind of friend that would come around to your place and make some tea and a meal in your kitchen, without it feeling like an invasion. The kind of friend that you could sit around with, without your eyebrows on, and just be.

I’ve learnt quite a bit about friendships over the past year, and the truth is that not everyone wants to be your friend, and it’s not easy finding someone that would be genuinely happy for you when that big breakthrough comes. In fact, many people will speak against the manifestation of the blessing in your life, and be secretly delighted when things don’t go well for you, and that’s the truth.

The thing about a friend is, when you find that friend, the one you really connect with, and have the liberty to share your heart with them, it’s a deep thing. In fact, this is what the Word describes as covenant. Let’s just define that really quickly – according to Google, covenant is:

A verb: agree by lease, deed, or other legal contract.

A few decades ago, a covenant was a serious thing. So serious that it was legally binding. You wouldn't take out a large home loan if you knew that you couldn't afford it, because if you couldn't afford it, you couldn't pay for it, and if you couldn't pay for it, pretty much everything that you own would be in jeopardy. To me, friendship is the same – it's expensive, and if you can’t afford it, you probably shouldn't be signing the agreement.

As much as I've learnt about the downs and hurts of friendships, I've been blessed to be witness a pure, Godly friendship over the past few months. My husband and his friend have an amazing bond, and a great friendship, but what’s so amazing (and unique) about this friendship is how selfless it is. They put little expectation on each other, but they pour out from their souls when giving out of their own. It’s evident how much they value each other, and their friendship is a phenomenal example of how a friend sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18: 14). Witnessing their friendship and how it grows on a daily basis has created a desire in me to have this kind of friend, and to be it.

A friend that I can be accountable to, and someone that would be accountable to me. Someone that would pray for me, and sow into me in a way that they feel led to do, someone that would tell me the truth, no matter how difficult it may be to accept or hear. Someone that would ask me about me, and how things are going with me, and someone that I could listen to, just as easily as I could talk with, someone that I could shopping with or have a spontaneous coffee date with just to unwind a bit.

I want a friend that’s led by the Spirit of God.

The truth is, finding this kind of friend isn't easy, but what I've realised is more difficult than finding this friend, is maintaining this kind of friendship once it's discovered. Because the truth is, when you sign up for this kind of friendship, it isn't all about what you can get out of it, or what the next person could do for you, it’s about sacrifice, and being the kind of friend that that person needs.

As much as I desire a Godly friend, I have a greater desire to be that kind of friend to someone else. I've had so many people see me and say “Hey my friend”, when the truth is, we actually aren't that close, could I really call you a friend? To me it seems like the world has cheapened something that is so precious, and so expensive. In the old testament, Abraham paid a high price to be called a friend of God - the title of friend is not an insignificant one. 

Today I’d like to challenge you to reflect on those closest to you, and the people that you call friends. Are you being that best kind of friend that you could possibly be? If you aren't, it's not to late to start now. 

Thank you for allowing me to share what's been on my heart for sometime now, and for reading! I'd love to hear from you, please leave your thoughts below.

- Arlene 

Monday, 12 May 2014

Mothers Day


So yesterday was mothers day, and it was surprisingly good, and long, which was great because Sundays usually feel like the shortest day of the week for me.

Mother's day used to be a painful day for me. I always felt like I was the only person in the world without a mom (I get melancholic like that sometimes). I'd sit in church and cry under cover while all the mothers day tributes were being done, and leave after the service like I'd never shed a tear.

This year was different. This year was good. I felt honored to be able to share it with my "new" family, and just to be able to sit in the presence of my new mom and dad was amazing for me.

This year, on mothers day, there was hope, there was break though, there was love!

Lace Jersey and Clutch: Mr Price. Peplum skirt: Miss Boss Couture. Shoes: Forever New.

Thanks for dropping by! How was your mothers day?

- Arlene 

Friday, 14 March 2014

Life lately

Hi there,

Lately, things have crazy in South Africa. Crazy weather, crazy Oscar trial, crazy piled up washing baskets. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

What's crazier is  how long I had hunted for these All Stars. I've been hunting since like, last year. Apparently finding a size 3 is near impossible, but I found one eventually, and I am happy.

Jacket: Mr Price. Jeans: Woolworths. Scarf: Gift. Shoes: Sportscene

With all the heaviness of the Oscar Trial going around everyday, I thought I'd poke some fun at his lawyer, Barry Roux. This guy is tearing apart just about every witness that takes the stand. Hard to the core.

Are you following the trial? What are your thoughts so far?

Thank you for coming by!
- Arlene

Thursday, 27 February 2014



There are few things more comfortable than a maxi dress. This dress was really made for Summer, its comfortable, cool and it looks pretty good too.

So, apparently the end of February marks the end of Summer, really?! And we can feel it already. Cooler evenings and mornings. I'm so sad though, feels like summer just arrived!

Maxi Dress: Mrs Price. Scarf: Gifted. Shoes: Mr Price.

In other news, Darren and I will be addressing a group of youth tomorrow evening, to speak a bit about our testimonies, and share on the topic of identitiy. Wish us luck, this will be my first time speaking in front of a group of people. 

Anyhoo, thanks for reading! 

- Arlene

Monday, 24 February 2014

Work wear

Hello there,

I don't have much to say today, so I'll just show you what I wore to work yesterday.

Blazer: Gifted. Shirt: Woolworths. Jeans: Polo. Shoes: Rage. Bag: Forever New. Necklace: Cotton on

What do you wear to work? Do you have strict rules in terms of dress code? I'd love to hear from you! Please leave your comment below. Thank you for reading!

- Arlene

Sunday, 23 February 2014


Hi there,

This weekend, I wasn't feeling great. I was tired, dizzy and my head was pounding - and my husband had left the house early to get to the radio station, so I was miserable and alone.

At about 11am, he came bouncing up the stairs, and greeted me (looking nasty) with a huge smile, followed by his best friend, Glisson. They looked pretty snazzy, and Gliss insisted that I put them on the blog. So, here they are:

I thought that I'd write a bit about our marriage, since my husband is here already. Writing about it is pretty daunting, because really, the only person that I can talk openly to about our marriage is my husband, and my mother in law. Weird right? All those preconceived perceptions that you have about mother and daughter in laws, scratch them. Ain't none of that going on here.

The time leading up to Darren and I's wedding was so exciting. We have a number of married friends, but I had one (honest) friend tell me about how difficult marriage can sometimes be. I took it to heart, but   I never thought that anything Darren could ever do would irritate me, but let me tell you, now, we tell each other how irritating we are, and it's pretty funny.

Those socks he ties together and throws in washing basket - they irritate me.
That top that he stuffs in the back of his cupboard that I have just neatly packed - that irritates me.
When his best friend calls at 6am on a Saturday morning, and Darren ends up shouting instructions over the phone while still in bed - that irritates me.
When he asks me if I'm ready to leave when he can clearly see me sitting in my bra at the dressing table, still doing my make up - that irritates me.

But I'm pretty irritating too.. 

I climb on top of him to cuddle just to see his irritated face - its hilarious, and it irritates him.
I (occasionally) throw things next to the dust bin and not into it - that irritates him.
I don't eat the crust of my bread, and often leave it in the plate, that goes into the (dry) kitchen sink - that irritates him.
I don't always finish my food - that irritates him
I then put the food that I haven't finished into tupperware - that irritates him. (He has this weird hate relationship with tupperware, very strange really.)

 In spite of all the irritating habits, I love this guy, more than I ever have. We'll be celebrating our 1st anniversary soon, and I am beyond blessed to have him as my husband, and he's pretty blessed to have me too.

This guy, is not my husband. Even though he wishes that he was lol 
This is my husband.
To the singles, and those getting married soon, let me tell you something: marriage is a challenging, fun, sometimes frustrating and often hilarious experience. Enjoy every moment!

Thank you for stopping by!
- Arlene

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

What is your story?

Hi there,

When my husband and I had first met, I asked him to tell me what had attracted him to me. He said that he looked at my eyes and thought; "I wonder what her story is? Have you never just looked at someone and wondered what their story is? How did they get to where they are now?"

That really struck me. It is so easy to look at people and judge them by what their circumstances seem to be at the time. But how did that person get there? Today, I'd like to encourage you to let love lead. Smile at someone that looks sad, and someone that looks happy too! Be friendly. Just be nice! You have no idea where someone may be coming from, or where they're heading to.

What is your story? I would love to hear your experience! You can comment below, or inbox me if you'd like to keep it between us :)

Peplum top: Mr Price. Jeans: Cotton On. Shoes: Melissa

Thank you for stopping by, so looking forward to hearing from you. 

- Arlene