I have to be honest; this is a personal post, very personal.
If I had to be completely honest, I've been hungry for a real, true friend for some time now. You know, the kind of friend that would tell you when you’re out of line, or give you an encouraging word when they can sense that you’re a bit down. The kind of friend that would actually make the time and effort to meet with you or call, instead of saying “I was just thinking about you yesterday” conveniently when they bump into you at the store. The kind of friend that would come around to your place and make some tea and a meal in your kitchen, without it feeling like an invasion. The kind of friend that you could sit around with, without your eyebrows on, and just be.
I’ve learnt quite a bit about friendships over the past year, and the truth is that not everyone wants to be your friend, and it’s not easy finding someone that would be genuinely happy for you when that big breakthrough comes. In fact, many people will speak against the manifestation of the blessing in your life, and be secretly delighted when things don’t go well for you, and that’s the truth.
The thing about a friend is, when you find that friend, the one you really connect with, and have the liberty to share your heart with them, it’s a deep thing. In fact, this is what the Word describes as covenant. Let’s just define that really quickly – according to Google, covenant is:
A verb: agree by lease, deed, or other legal contract.
A few decades ago, a covenant was a serious thing. So serious that it was legally binding. You wouldn't take out a large home loan if you knew that you couldn't afford it, because if you couldn't afford it, you couldn't pay for it, and if you couldn't pay for it, pretty much everything that you own would be in jeopardy. To me, friendship is the same – it's expensive, and if you can’t afford it, you probably shouldn't be signing the agreement.
As much as I've learnt about the downs and hurts of friendships, I've been blessed to be witness a pure, Godly friendship over the past few months. My husband and his friend have an amazing bond, and a great friendship, but what’s so amazing (and unique) about this friendship is how selfless it is. They put little expectation on each other, but they pour out from their souls when giving out of their own. It’s evident how much they value each other, and their friendship is a phenomenal example of how a friend sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18: 14). Witnessing their friendship and how it grows on a daily basis has created a desire in me to have this kind of friend, and to be it.
A friend that I can be accountable to, and someone that would be accountable to me. Someone that would pray for me, and sow into me in a way that they feel led to do, someone that would tell me the truth, no matter how difficult it may be to accept or hear. Someone that would ask me about me, and how things are going with me, and someone that I could listen to, just as easily as I could talk with, someone that I could shopping with or have a spontaneous coffee date with just to unwind a bit.
I want a friend that’s led by the Spirit of God.
The truth is, finding this kind of friend isn't easy, but what I've realised is more difficult than finding this friend, is maintaining this kind of friendship once it's discovered. Because the truth is, when you sign up for this kind of friendship, it isn't all about what you can get out of it, or what the next person could do for you, it’s about sacrifice, and being the kind of friend that that person needs.
As much as I desire a Godly friend, I have a greater desire to be that kind of friend to someone else. I've had so many people see me and say “Hey my friend”, when the truth is, we actually aren't that close, could I really call you a friend? To me it seems like the world has cheapened something that is so precious, and so expensive. In the old testament, Abraham paid a high price to be called a friend of God - the title of friend is not an insignificant one.
Today I’d like to challenge you to reflect on those closest to you, and the people that you call friends. Are you being that best kind of friend that you could possibly be? If you aren't, it's not to late to start now.
Thank you for allowing me to share what's been on my heart for sometime now, and for reading! I'd love to hear from you, please leave your thoughts below.